Military uniforms, dress to impress

Most people wear clothing. Majority of the world frowns upon nakedness since nudity is still taboo subject. I am a fan of nudity, imagine how much money would you save if only thing you wore is your birthday suit? Considering that I am somewhat crazy don’t take my fashion advices too seriously. In ages past humans wore all kinds of things, from rags and loincloths to Armani suits and miniskirts. But there was one type of clothing which persisted, always changing but always there. I am talking about uniforms. Military uniforms to be specific. I watched some historical movies few days back and it hit me how garish those old uniforms were. From our modern perspective it is stupid to color them like that.


Military Uniform


This is uniform of the colonel of Royal Scots Greys. And it’s red. How do you say: “Hey look at me, I am important in this army, shoot me first.”- Without saying a single word? Dress your officers in easy to recognize uniforms and bright colors. But you must consider the times. Guns were used yes, but they were terrible at first. And role of the officers was to command and inspire their troops. When fighting starts and grunts get lost they must find their commanders fast in case they need new instructions.


Military Uniform


And look at this hats. Man walks down the street in that hat, people know he’s not afraid of anything. Gone are the times of style and luxury, when most important thing was to look good while stabbing and bleeding. If you must die, die looking fabulous, right? Peacocks have the right idea, if you scare your opponent with your coat you don’t have to chop his head off and more importantly he will not chop your head off.


Military Uniform


Nope, modern armies simple do not recognize the value of good hat. It’s all about safety and functionality and what not. But if you ask me, there is nothing better then looking sweet while spitting hot lead at killing speeds. And hats are high point of good a attire. Just ask this guys.


Military Uniform


Alright, these are wrong guys to ask. But some of their uniforms were designed by Hugo Boss. Bad guys always had dips on cool coats.


Military Uniform


Too bad this were worn by mass murdering psychopaths. But hey, good clothing never hurt anybody and black is always in style. So don’t feel bad if you like Hugo Boss brand, even though their founder was a Nazi. But let’s move on. Why did function of the uniform changed? At first it was to distinguish friend and foe, to find important hotshots and to look awesome. Now we moved to more functional side. We don’t want enemy to see us, we have different ways to tell friend and foe and our officers are wimps. But I am not going to talk about modern uniforms now. Nothing sexy about camouflage … Well it’s a little bit sexy but that is beside the point.


Military Uniform


It’s cool and all but it lacks the swing and magic of the old world elegance. Times change, sometimes they bring good things some time they bring god damn ugly uniforms. What can you do?


Uniforms can look good, uniforms can look silly

But most importantly they are used to tell us something. That massage changed as much as the looks of the uniforms. Some tell us “be afraid of me”, some say “we will protect you” and some yell “look at me I am badass”. No matter what and no matter the cut function is the same. It shows us that person wearing them is belongs to the organization, be it military or police, doesn’t matter. He or she is telling us that he is proud of his/her service and that is something to respect. Even if they look silly.


Visual content acquired from Wikimedia and Pixabay 

Ivan Gocić

Ivan Gocić

My name is Ivan Gocić, creative writter from Serbia. I am passionate about writing, technology, art and renaissance weapons. I am currently writing a book about space wizards, and in my spare time I like sharing some of my thoughts on fun subjects. And yeah, I’m a cynic.

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